Diggle FC

Match report for 18/10/12 by Howard Johnson

Scholes 3 V  Diggle  A 4

With the A’s not having played for a good few weeks due to the horrendous weather, it was refreshing to have a run out away at Scholes. With the home team being in the top 3 of the division, Diggle knew it would be no easy task to come away with a result. The positive news was that the management team had an extensive list of players to choose from and did so with impeccable taste!

With a few players drafted into the A team set up, the game started off quite poorly with Diggle going a goal down within 10 minutes. The conditions made it slightly more difficult as the pitch had a gradient that was likened to playing the wrong way up a slide! However we soon got our foothold on the game, our possession and all round quality started to shine through. The midfield duo of Jamie Mac and Danny T bossed the centre of the park and sure enough Paul Swallow’s morphing ability also kicked in. At one point he was stood on the egde of our penalty area talking to Pooley, when Danny T floated a sublime corner when Swallow morphed only to appear in the opposition box to fire home a bullet header to level the game at 1-1.

Again from another corner, Paul Swallow had nipped back to the changing rooms to change his boots (approximately ½ a mile away), when another corner was taken…. who appeared from nowhere at the back post?…. you guessed it… Paul Swallow with another bullet header 1-2. By this point Scholes were bemused and were complaining that we had some type of super hero that could instantaneously teleport from one location to another!! Unfortunately a very rare error from the usually bulletproof Pooley let Scholes back in to level the game just before half time 2-2.

At half time Mark and Browny asked the lads to return to putting the ball on the floor and doing what we were doing best, playing football. Some inspired comments from Danny T also got the lads revved up ready to start the second half. The stand in Captain for the day Rob Leah was told not to creep so far up the pitch as it was reported that milk has been seen turning quicker than him and we didn’t want to get caught on the break again. Jacko was also asked why on numerous occasions he was seen hugging the left touchline (this wouldn’t normally be that bad, however he was playing right back!!).

With yet another inspired piece of management, we made a couple of tactical changes moving Swallow up front, Rhys to the left and Jack to the right. Pretty much immediately the changes paid dividend as Paul Swallow raced from the halfway line and slotted past the keeper 2-3. With some great work from Jamie Mac & Danny T (but not Bootey – he was awful) once again Diggle started to take control with the exception of a lapse in concentration at the back which resulted in an equaliser from Scholes 3-3! At this point we had to take Bootey off the pitch, as much effort as he put in missing seven one-on-one’s and three open nets just isn’t cricket! On came Browny to give us a bit of physicality up top.

As the match got into the later stages, the team had witnessed sun, rain, snow, hail, gale force winds and finally a rainbow so the conditions started to take their toll, but the steely Diggle resolve came through once again in the form of Danny T pushing forward again and again (and being hacked down again and again, by a man who resembled Neanderthal Man) finally got his just deserts and was awarded a penalty. Up steps the immense Jamie Mac 3-4. A couple of minutes later the whistle was blown Diggle win 3-4.

All in all a very good performance considering the conditions. Also a shout out to Rob Leah who took a nasty foul to his ankle….. nasty man kicked poor Bobby’s ankle, but according to him a normal man would have actually died… but Bob got on with the game.

Oh and one final thing, I bet he thought he had got away with it….. It would appear Diggle has its very own Carlos Tevez, albeit a really snide version, yep it is Dawson. Once again he was asked to warm up and took that as an invitation to add more clothes to his person – this included 3 coats (on his top half) 3 coats wrapped around his legs, 2 hats and 3 pairs of gloves….. this all while the other subs were gently jogging up and down the touch line to ‘warm up’. When informed he had got the instruction to warm up wrong (in the usual tactful way we approach things) he replied he was ‘warm enough’. He was then told he didn’t want to warm up any more and wasn’t bothered about playing!!! Subsequently Richard has been fined 4 weeks wages, banned from the ‘Noisy Neighbours Night’ and in protest has boarded a flight to his homeland of Lesbos, to play golf and wax his chest.


P. Swallow 3, Jamie Mac 1.

Man o the match – P. Swallow

For more match reports or to contact Diggle FC click here.



Pin It on Pinterest

Share This